Candace and I got separated from our friends somewhere around the merchandise booth. You don’t want to get in the way of a hipster and their sweatshop-free band branding—literally their ability to wear their essence on their sleeve.
We had snagged some bitchin’ spots right near the front of the stage—just a touch to the right—after weaving through the throngs of beautiful people in skinny jeans and dark hoodies. We didn’t want to give up our direct line of sight, so we settled in, hoping the friends we abandoned in the fry for posters and tiny buttons would find us.
I hadn’t seen Candace in a few weeks, so while the roadies filled the stage with instruments, I filled Candace in on my life. This ended in a small case of sexual harassment.
But I swear to good, he was asking for it.
If you stand in close quarters, leaning over the stage railing with your bum sticking out it’s going to get hit. And since I was telling a really exciting story, my hands started to gesture and ended up grazing his rear more than once.
And it wasn’t just me… skate jacket dude was also forced to get uncomfortably close to the Leaner. Skate Dude was trying to get next to Skate Gal. With a tap on the shoulder and a polite “‘scuse me” he gestured towards his intended destination. Candace and I waddled backwards like penguins, trying to make a path for him to squeeze through. Hesitating, he looked at us, the space we had made and Leaner’s butt—still sticking right out.
“Sorry. Not a lot of space with his butt sticking out is there?” said Skate Dude as he stepped into a sideways shuffle.
“No. We’ve already sexually harassed him a number of times” I said.
“Well if you’re going to stick it out like that… what are you gonna do?” he finished with a shrug.
Half way through the show Leaner left. Taking his girl with him. We moved up and got to stand ‘front row’ the rest of the show. And while he could have departed due to the sexual harassment I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. Sorry ‘Leaning’ dude, but you were taking up way more then your fair share of space for a sold out concert.
So Leaner, if you want to stay for the whole concert, stand up and keep your ass to yourself, so I can keep my hands to myself!
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